How to End the Year on Your Own Terms - Reflection, Power, and Presence in Midlife
PODCAST · EPISODE № 003
Listen to the full episode:
As the year winds down, most women rush to the finish line, checking lists instead of checking in. But what if finishing strong had nothing to do with doing more — and everything to do with doing what feels true?
In this episode, Dr. Oksana Skidan — writer, educator, and creator of the Create Your Midlife™ Method — invites you to end the year on your own terms. Through her signature blend of reflection, clarity, and grounded wisdom, she shares how to close the year with presence instead of pressure — and how to make peace with what’s complete, unfinished, or simply ready to evolve.
🧭 In This Episode:
• Why “finishing strong” is about energy, not effort
• The art of pausing before the year ends — and why it’s an act of leadership
• How to use the five elements of the Create Your Midlife™ Method to realign your focus
• A gentle practice for entering December with clarity, not chaos
🎧 This is your reminder that you don’t need to chase the year’s ending — you only need to meet yourself in it, fully present, fully proud, and fully enough.
Useful Resources:
Subscribe to The Create Letter: https://oksanaskidan.com/newsletter
Explore The Midlife Method™: https://oksanaskidan.com/midlife-method
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/
Follow on Instagram @oksana_skidan_dr: https://www.instagram.com/oksana_skidan_dr
Transcript:
Oksana Skidan (00:04.012)
November always whispers two things at once: time’s almost up — and you still have time. I love that duality, because to me, it’s true.
This month isn’t about finishing everything — it’s about finishing aligned.
Most women I know rush toward the finish line, checking lists instead of checking in. But what if ending the year strong had nothing to do with doing more — and everything to do with owning your energy, your focus, and your story? Especially now, at this very exciting time in our lives — our midlife.
Let’s talk about something I deeply believe in: the power of the pause. The strongest women I know don’t sprint to the end — they pause, they assess, and they choose what truly deserves their energy. That’s leadership in motion. That’s self-agency at work. Because when you pause, you step into choice. You’re no longer reacting to life — you’re directing it. You start asking the questions that actually matter.
I’ll bring you an example from my life in music.
Oksana Skidan (01:28.392)
Many young musicians believe that when there is a pause — what we call a rest in the musical score — that’s the moment when the music stops. But that’s actually the complete opposite. As a professional musician, after performing for years and years, you come to see that rest differently.
It’s the most special time — the space between the notes where the music continues, the sound carries on, and both you and your audience can breathe.
So, to me, when I talk about the pause — that’s exactly what I mean. It’s allowing ourselves to breathe.
To breathe right before the end of the year. Right before the holidays take over.
Right before we find ourselves saying, “It’s December 31st — just 24 hours away from a new year, new goals, new dreams.”
So, let’s ask a few things together. What’s already complete — that deserves a quiet celebration? Take a moment to pause and think.
I’m sure you’ve completed so many things that you simply haven’t credited yourself for. You didn’t notice them, because our focus is so often on what’s unfinished. So I invite you to look at what you did complete — not just the big, flashy wins, but the small ones that mattered to you.
When you acknowledge those, your brain registers completion. It reminds you: yes, I can finish things. Yes, I’m capable. That builds momentum for what’s next.
Then ask yourself: what’s still unfinished, but no longer yours to carry? Just like clothes go out of style — or out of our liking — goals do too.
Oksana Skidan (03:58.03)
Not every goal is meant to be finished. And not everyone is meant to follow you forward. And that’s okay.
Maybe the most powerful question is: What do I want to feel as the year closes — not what do I want to finish?
There’s a saying I love: “You’ll forget what people told you, but you’ll never forget how they made you feel.” So — how are you making yourself feel right now, as you think about what’s still left in 2025? And how will it feel when you actually complete those things?
This is the time I invite you to pause and reflect — not to rush forward, but to allow yourself to breathe.
Oksana Skidan (05:33.784)
Here’s the truth: you can’t own the future until you acknowledge what you’ve lived.
So many goals we carry year after year exist only because we didn’t finish them before — not because they still matter. But what if the reason you didn’t complete them is simply because they were never truly yours?
Maybe they came from culture. Maybe from pressure. Maybe from a version of you who thought she had to prove something.
And this is where Own Your Story™ comes in. Stand by your past goals — whether you finished them or not. They taught you something, they shaped you, they served their purpose. And then, stand by your future goals — but make them yours. Not borrowed. Not tradition-driven. Not based on who you were told to be. Just yours.
When we look at our goals, projects, or even the year as a whole, we usually focus on two things: what’s finished and what’s not. And if we’re honest, we spend far too much time thinking about what we didn’t complete.
But early November — right now, right here — is the perfect time to pause, look around, and do a gentle before-the-end-of-the-year check. Most reflections only measure achievements. But life isn’t a checklist — it’s an ecosystem.
So today, I want you to look at your year not just by what you accomplished, but through the five elements of the Create Your Midlife™ Method.
It’s how we see the full picture — not just what got done, but what grew with us and within us.
Oksana Skidan (07:34.508)
This is how we lead our lives our own way — authentically and uniquely. Because everything begins internally — our stories, thoughts, and choices — before it ever shows up as external wins.
Let’s start with Element Number One — Own Your Story™.
Ask yourself: what parts of my story this year feel complete, and which still need to be understood before I move forward? Maybe even write one simple sentence: “This year taught me…”
Oksana Skidan (08:15.692)
Look back honestly. What did you do — or not do — that makes you proud today?
Give yourself credit. That’s fuel for finishing what matters most now.
Notice the small completions: the conversations you had, the boundaries you kept, the things you quietly followed through on. That’s where momentum lives.
Confidence doesn’t come from huge leaps — it grows through recognition. When you say, “I did that. I made that choice. I learned that.” — that’s how you build self-trust.
Oksana Skidan (08:56.312)
For me, this year I realized something important: staying true to my goals means focusing on what matters most, not doing the most work.
As we move to the second element — Become Your M.U.S.E.™ — I invite you to ask: where did I act from inspiration, and where from obligation?
There’s a difference, and you can feel it. Inspiration feels alive. Obligation feels heavy. Notice what felt most you this year — not what others expected of you.
And since one letter in M.U.S.E. stands for Strengths, ask yourself: where do I need my own care right now?
We’re heading into the most exciting — and the busiest — part of the year. Is it emotional care — do I need softness, or stronger boundaries? Is it physical — more rest, more movement, or simply more presence in my body? Or maybe it’s mental — releasing perfection and remembering that progress is perfection.
Oksana Skidan (10:46.082)
And here’s a personal reminder I give myself daily: done is better than perfect.
Because in my life, Mrs. Perfectionista still loves to show up. But every time I focus on the result — not flawless delivery — I win back my energy and flow.
As women, we often aim to be perfect. But in midlife, the gift is realizing that who we are — authentically — is already perfect.
Oksana Skidan (11:30.000)
The third element is Live in the N.O.W.™.
Ask yourself: what present choices am I postponing until next year that I could honor today? Every single day gives us a chance to begin, continue, or shift something. You don’t have to wait for January to live as the woman you want to be.
Look at your current goals — where could you take one small, imperfect step now?
That’s creation in motion. That’s self-agency. It happens in today’s actions, not future plans. Presence replaces pressure — and presence becomes your most powerful form of progress.
Oksana Skidan (12:27.382)
You don’t need to wait until Monday or New Year’s resolutions. If you want to change something, you can do it right here, right now — on a Thursday afternoon or a Friday evening. The moment you decide to change something, that’s the perfect timing for you.
Oksana Skidan (12:45.000)
The fourth element of Create Your Midlife™ is Curate Your Sphere™.
Ask yourself: who and what am I taking with me into December?
That includes more than just people. It’s also commitments, environments, and thought patterns. Everything you touch influences you — and everything that surrounds you shapes how you feel.
Notice how your surroundings make you feel right now. That quiet whisper of, “This doesn’t feel like me anymore” — that’s your cue. You don’t have to make big, dramatic changes. Sometimes the most powerful move is a quiet step back — choosing not to engage, not to explain, just to breathe.
Quiet withdrawal is also self-agency. Protecting your peace is leadership.
Oksana Skidan (14:10.958)
Presence over participation. And this starts now — before the invitations, before the scheduling, before you fill every day with obligations instead of what you truly need.
Oksana Skidan (14:40.000)
The fifth element is Self & World Attunement™.
Ask: how did I align — or misalign — with the rhythms of life this year?
With nature, my own cycles, my own energy?
Attunement isn’t control. It’s cooperation. It’s moving with life instead of pushing against it.
Notice your personal rhythm: when you’re creative, when you need rest, when your intuition feels strongest. Let yourself move with that flow — and align with the seasons. Winter invites reflection. Spring calls for beginnings. Summer expands. Autumn refines. Let things unfold instead of forcing outcomes.
Harmony instead of resistance. Flow instead of fight.
Oksana Skidan (15:52.652)
And this year, maybe I’m getting older, but I sound more like my grandma.
This fall — the leaves, the air, the colors — they feel more special. Maybe it’s the wisdom of age, but I believe they are.
Here in Virginia and Washington D.C., the colors have been breathtaking.
Every time I go outside, I remind myself it’s a privilege — to see this beauty, to be part of this season, to witness change in motion.
Oksana Skidan (16:47.97)
You know when people say “finish strong,” it often comes with pressure — like strength means speed or achievement. But finishing strong doesn’t mean pushing harder. It means closing the year with clarity, not clutter — with grace, not guilt.
For me, strong has nothing to do with hustle. It’s not about how much I finish, but how I feel when I do. Finishing strong is an energy, not a metric — especially in midlife.
So maybe ask yourself: what would strength look like for me right now?
Sometimes, strength looks like saying no — and being at peace with that. Sometimes, it’s deleting a project that no longer fits. Sometimes, it’s resting — without apology or explanation.
Strong can be quiet. Strong can be calm. Strong can be walking into December knowing exactly what deserves your yes — and what doesn’t.
We’ve been conditioned to believe strength is a race. But what if it’s actually a rhythm? What if finishing strong means finishing true — to yourself, your story, your dreams, your beliefs, who you are right now?
Oksana Skidan (19:08.896)
What if you ended the year not by doing everything, but by aligning with what truly matters? What does grace look like for you right now — not in theory, but in practice?
For me, grace looks like breathing before deciding. It looks like letting the unfinished stay unfinished, trusting that not every door needs to close before the year does.
That’s what I call finishing strong — ending with self-respect, peace, and presence.
Remember — as we move through November, the phrase be kind to yourself should stay with you everywhere. Every time you say yes, pause and ask: will this yes allow me to be kind to myself?
And when you say no, ask the same: is this no helping me protect that kindness?
Oksana Skidan (20:22.53)
Here’s the beautiful thing about November: it’s not an ending — it’s a bridge.
The best way to start December and move into the holidays is to finish November your way. Every moment you reclaim now becomes the foundation for what’s next.
So don’t think of this month as a countdown. Think of it as a transition.
Create a forward pull — not pressure. Focus on direction, not deadlines. Ask yourself: how do I want to feel when this month ends? That’s what you’ll carry into December — your emotional energy, your focus, your state of being.
Oksana Skidan (21:23.15)
Here’s a simple practice I love: choose one word for how you want to feel on November 30th.
Just one word.
Maybe it’s peaceful, complete, light, open, grounded.
Write it somewhere you’ll see every day — your mirror, your phone wallpaper, your journal, your desk.
Let that word guide every choice you make this month. If your word is peaceful, ask: does this decision bring me closer to peace or further away?
If it’s open, ask: does this expand me or exhaust me?
Each small decision aligned with that word becomes your momentum for the new year. No rush. No guilt. Just alignment. Because how you end the year — is how you’ll begin the next one.
Oksana Skidan (22:38.478)
You don’t need to chase the year’s ending. You only need to meet yourself in it — fully present, fully proud, fully enough.
The end of the year isn’t a finish line. It’s a mirror. It reflects how you’ve lived, what you’ve learned, and who you’ve become.
You’re not behind. You’re not in crisis. You’re not slow. You’re right on time — for your rhythm, your story, your midlife moment.
Every path, every shift, every choice to slow down — it’s all forward motion. Creating your life isn’t about how fast you go; it’s about how true you are while moving through it.
Let the rest of this year be less about what you close — and more about how you arrive. Meet yourself with gratitude, grace, and quiet confidence. That’s what power looks like in midlife.
This is how powerful women finish — not by racing, but by returning. Returning to what’s real, to what matters, to themselves. Because the strongest way to finish the year — is to end it as you.
Oksana Skidan (24:49.43)
As you continue forward, remember what I said about music — every rest is not a stop. It’s the moment when both the performer and the audience breathe — together.
So as I say goodbye, I invite you to embrace the pause — not as a stop to your momentum, but as the moment you allow yourself to look ahead and continue forward, in your strongest, most unique way.
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