Thanksgiving and Midlife Women: Redefining Holiday Traditions, Gratitude & Presence
PODCAST · EPISODE № 006
Listen to the full episode:
Thanksgiving holds a special kind of magic — not in the perfection, but in the simplicity. It’s the one holiday that doesn’t ask for performance, just presence. Yet for many midlife women, this season stirs deeper emotions: connection, belonging, nostalgia, and the quiet question of where do I fit now?
In this reflective Thanksgiving episode, Dr. Oksana Skidan — writer, educator, and creator of the Create Your Midlife™ Method — explores the true meaning of return — not only to family and tradition, but to yourself. From gratitude rituals to evolving family traditions, Oksana invites you to rediscover Thanksgiving as a personal homecoming — a time to feel grounded, grateful, and gently at peace with where you are.
Through her signature blend of story and soul, she shares how to create your own midlife Thanksgiving — one built on authenticity, not expectation; belonging, not performance; gratitude, not guilt.
🧭 In This Episode:
• The real reason Thanksgiving feels emotional in midlife
• How to redefine traditions as your life evolves
• The 3-step gratitude ritual that connects you to self, others, and the world
• Why belonging begins with you — and how to reclaim it this season
• How to feel at home in your own life, no matter who’s at your table
Useful Resources:
Subscribe to The Create Letter: https://oksanaskidan.com/newsletter
Explore The Midlife Method™: https://oksanaskidan.com/midlife-method
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/
Follow on Instagram @oksana_skidan_dr: https://www.instagram.com/oksana_skidan_dr
Transcript:
Oksana Skidan (00:00)
We're in the week of Thanksgiving, and to me, the world around feels different. When I look around, the pace feels like it quickens with each day. Yet there is a quiet awareness underneath it — a sense that we're all moving toward something familiar. I feel that the feeling of return is the strongest, at least for me. Not just a return to family or tradition, but to something deeper — to connection, belonging, gratitude, and simplicity.
It's interesting because I didn’t grow up with Thanksgiving. In Ukraine, we didn’t have this holiday. There was no Thursday feast, no turkey, no parade, no women worrying about dry meat. Actually, an interesting fact is that turkey has always been considered a delicacy in Ukraine. So I guess I can’t really relate too much to dry turkey on Thanksgiving.
Nevertheless, this is the holiday that I’ve adopted here in the United States. And over the years, it has become my favorite. Maybe because it’s the one holiday that doesn’t demand perfection. There are no presents to buy, no race for deals — well, I guess there are, but not as crazy as around Christmas. No endless list of expectations.
There’s something pure and simple about this day — something human in the way it gathers people, stories, and emotions into one shared place. It’s the moment in the year that quietly says, Look around. Remember what matters.
And maybe that’s why I love it so much. Because it brings us back — back to connection, back to belonging, back to what truly matters.
It’s a return not only to others but also to ourselves — to the calm beneath the noise, to gratitude that doesn’t need to be perfect, and to the feeling that wherever we are, we still belong. So today, I want to talk about that — about what Thanksgiving really means for us as midlife women, why it touches something deeper than nostalgia, and how we can create a sense of belonging both around us and within us.
Every human needs a tribe. It’s not just a poetic thought — it’s simple biology. Our brains are wired for belonging. Deep inside, the amygdala, the oldest, most instinctive part of the brain, is constantly asking a few questions: Am I safe? Am I part of the group?
For thousands of years, our survival depended on it. Being part of a tribe meant warmth, protection, food, and safety. Being alone simply meant danger. And even though life has changed — we live in cities, drive cars, and talk to each other through screens — that part of the brain never evolved out of us. It still wants to know that we belong.
Today's world — especially for women — celebrates independence, being strong, self-sufficient, capable. And that’s powerful. But it can also feel, and be, lonely. That’s why Thanksgiving feels different. It’s one of the few moments in the year that invites us to soften — to remember that we also need we.
Connection is what grounds us emotionally. It’s what I call, in my work, part of Curate Your Sphere™ — the conscious way we choose who and what surrounds us: the people and spaces that help us feel safe, supported, and seen for who we truly are.
For me, belonging has always been something I had to build intentionally. Being Ukrainian-born, coming to the United States to study, starting over in a new language and culture — I had to find my people, create my circle, build my family through friendship. When your life crosses borders, your friends often become your family. And that, to me, is the real heart of Thanksgiving. It’s the holiday I didn’t grow up with, but somehow, it feels like home.
There’s something beautiful about this season of return — the season of Thanksgiving. My son is in his senior year, and the feeling of friends and neighbors welcoming their college kids back home is everywhere. I just came back from a walk with my dog, and I could already see a few cars that usually aren’t parked there. You can almost sense, in the air, the feeling of people coming together — more lights, more laughter. When I look around, I think it’s almost a migration of hearts — everyone finding their way back to somewhere that feels like theirs.
To me, Thanksgiving is America’s national return ritual. It’s the one time of year when a country built on business and what’s next takes a step aside — even if it’s just for a moment — to allow everyone to come back together.
This year, as I watch all these returns happening around me, I find myself thinking not just about family or celebration, but about myself, about midlife, about women in midlife — and how the word return has taken on a new meaning.
It’s not only about coming back to people or places. It’s about coming back to yourself. Because there comes a point when you realize that not everything you’ve been carrying belongs to you. Some traditions were inherited, not chosen by us. Some expectations were passed down, and now they no longer align with who we are.
Midlife invites us to quietly sort through them — to keep what feels real and to release what doesn’t. This is the time to return to what grounds you: to the people, places, and practices that hold you steady and safe; to the rituals that give rhythm to your days; to the table — not the perfect one, but the one where you can exhale and be seen.
Thanksgiving, for me, over the years, has become exactly that — a return to what feels real, a pause in the motion of life that says: This is where I am. This is who I am. And for this moment, it’s enough.
When I think about what truly grounds me during this season, it always comes back to one thing — gratitude. There’s so much talk about gratitude — the practices, the journals, the signs of positivity — and yet, what moves me most is how human it feels.
It’s such an incredible concept, and most of the time, it’s something we practice on our own or with our families. We teach our children to be grateful. We express gratitude for opportunities, for the people who surround us. But during Thanksgiving, this concept of gratitude becomes such a larger movement.
Oksana Skidan (08:15)
Over the years, I’ve created a simple three-step gratitude ritual that I return to every Thanksgiving. It doesn’t require much — just ten minutes to be with yourself, to be open, to be vulnerable.
I always start with gratitude for myself. As women, this is the one we skip the most. Many still believe that thanking yourself is selfish. But what I’ve found is that, in midlife, this is exactly what we need.
Thank yourself for the times you said no when it would have been easier to say yes. Thank yourself for saying yes to something that scared you — and then doing it anyway. Thank yourself for trying, for showing up even when your hair wasn’t perfect, your mood wasn’t right, or things just didn’t feel the way you would have preferred.
Thank yourself for the tiny steps no one else noticed — the quiet continuations that built your life forward. And thank yourself for laughing, for not worrying, for the moments you chose peace instead of proving something.
There’s a lot more you can thank yourself for. The ones I’ve mentioned are simply a place to start. Then, allow yourself to go further. Allow yourself to thank yourself for something you’ve never thought you should — or would. This is the time to break all the rules, to be completely open with yourself.
The second part is gratitude for others. Think of the people who’ve crossed your path this year — friends, family, colleagues, even strangers. Say: Thank you for showing up in my life.
This year, personally, I’m deeply grateful for a few new girlfriends. And we all know that midlife is not the easiest time to make new friends. Even our younger children would probably agree — there’s never a perfect time to easily make new connections. But we also know that as we grow older, we can become less willing to be open, less willing to be vulnerable.
And you’ll be surprised — but I’m thankful to some women I’ve met on social media. Women whose work, words, or simply presence inspire me daily. Because connection, in my belief, doesn’t always happen in person. Sometimes it’s in shared energy. It’s in a shared life. It’s in a shared text.
The third part of my ritual is gratitude for the world. And this one is especially interesting. In my Create Your Midlife™ method, I actually have an entire fifth element dedicated to Self & World Attunement™. It’s where I remind myself that gratitude extends beyond people.
Maybe it’s the morning light through the window — the one I saw just a few days ago when I opened my eyes, and it was so beautiful. Maybe it’s the random smell of coffee mixed with the open window air of fall. Maybe it’s a quiet walk after dinner, watching the sunset.
Oksana Skidan (12:02)
For me lately, it’s been the sky. Every time I go for a walk with my dog, I look up. It’s a great exercise for your neck, for your confidence, and for your grounding — just to stand tall, breathe, and see the incredible picture painted by nature. And I’ve realized that the sky is never the same.
One day it’s bright, so radiant you can hardly look at it. Another day it’s cloudy, almost shy — quiet, but still beautiful. That has become my focus on walks lately. For you, it might be something completely different.
So here you are — three lists. Ten minutes, if that’s all you can find — though I bet you can find more. And to be honest, we always underestimate the power of our cars. If you truly believe you can’t find time to sit down and make these lists, I know you’re driving around. Probably more than you’d like to be.
So use that time. When you’re waiting for your child, or driving from one place to another — use that space. You can even say it out loud. Speak the things you’re thankful for, out loud, in your car.
As long as you take a little time for yourself, as long as you slow down this season, and as long as you connect to what’s really important — that’s all that matters.
Thanksgiving, for me, has always been deeply connected to tradition. It’s the opening note to the entire holiday season — a season that invites reflection, connection, and memory. But tradition is one of those ideas that can feel both comforting and heavy, at least for me. For many of us in midlife, it carries layers — the way things used to be, the way we think they should be, and somewhere in between, the quiet longing for how we want them to feel now.
When I first came to the U.S., I used to think traditions were fixed — like recipes that had to be followed exactly. Birthdays, holidays, celebrations — all with the “right” way to do them. But life showed me otherwise. Distance, borders, and time have a way of reshaping everything. What I’ve learned is that the most meaningful rituals evolve with us.
They grow as we grow. They adapt to the season we’re in. Maybe this year your Thanksgiving table is smaller. Maybe someone is missing. Maybe you’ve changed your space, your place, your pace, your energy, your priorities. That’s okay. Tradition isn’t about repeating what once was — it’s about honoring what still feels alive.
If your family is spread across states or even continents, believe me, I understand that. I’ve lived many years when distance made gathering impossible, but connection still found its way — through a phone call, a shared playlist, a digital toast. Believe me, there have been so many birthdays, New Year’s celebrations, and holidays we’ve spent greeting each other, laughing together, and looking at one another through a computer screen.
Tradition, I’ve learned, isn’t limited to one table. It can happen across time zones, through voices, or even in a message that says, “I’m thinking of you.” And if you’re in a new chapter — building a life, a circle, a home — maybe your tradition becomes hosting friends who’ve become like family, the people who bring warmth, stories, and that quiet, unmistakable feeling of belonging.
Over the years, our Thanksgiving table has welcomed many people. There were years when my husband was the only one out of twenty-plus guests who was born in the United States. Every year, we open the door to someone new, and I’m so excited that this year will be no exception.
So here’s my invitation to you this Thanksgiving: don’t let distance or perfection stop you from celebrating. Find your own way to feel grateful, to gather, to belong. Get creative, and let your traditions evolve with you.
Today, as I talk about gratitude, belonging, and traditions, I want to mention something both simple and, I think, quite radical — belonging begins with you. Yes, you belong to your family, your traditions, your memories. You show up for everyone and everything.
But beneath all of that — before the roles and the responsibilities — you belong to yourself. That truth is not self-indulgent; it’s foundational.
Because when you belong to yourself — to your own life, your values, your vision — you begin to embody, to choose, and to live your life your way. The woman you are, after all the decades of caring, creating, learning, and holding it together, deserves to feel at home in her own life.
Not when the kids are grown. Not when the dishes are done. Now. Right at this moment.
So as you sit at your table — wherever that may be — let the warmth of that togetherness include you. Let yourself be part of the “everyone” you’re always taking care of. Because I have myself is more than a phrase — it’s an anchoring, a mindset of knowing.
It’s the kind of belonging that brings peace instead of pressure. No matter who’s beside you or who’s far away — you are here. You have yourself.
That is the true luxury of Thanksgiving — not the setting, not the menu, but the sacred moment you remember that you belong to yourself first. And from that place, you can belong anywhere.
Happy Thanksgiving, my dear midlife friend.
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